Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize