I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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