Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you traded sex for a burrito?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
