so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
