I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
