Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
