i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
