sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
