i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
