how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
