and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
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drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
There r osticjed everywhere
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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