I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
