I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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