There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
