Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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