I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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