my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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