I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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