So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Randomize
