you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
