He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies