I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
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I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
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So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.