I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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