i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
