hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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