Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
