I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
