I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
