I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
