I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I love you. Go after that dick
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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