Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
