I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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