I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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