My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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