don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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