Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
