The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
