i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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