I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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