we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
