You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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