I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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