yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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