GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
