i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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