I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
