You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
