I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize