You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
