we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I lost the right to judge tonight
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
