Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
