I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
