I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
