I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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