Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
