They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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