Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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