Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
