I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
