Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
