Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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