i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just found puke in my bra..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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