What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
