Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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