yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
